Nerves

There's been a lot going through my mind since finding out that my life is about to change completely. What if I'm a bad mom? What if I drop the baby? What if I fall down the stairs when I'm nine months pregnant? What if the baby is allergic to anything? What if the baby cries when I'm holding it like most babies do?

 

Frankly... all of this is incredibly frightening. I don't know a single thing about babies, and I've certainly never changed a diaper. GROSS.

 

These thoughts are what I fondly refer to as Pregnancy Meltdowns. A doctor might call it a hormone imbalance, but "metldown" is more animated. This thoughts often occur to me inbetween morning sickness sessions (which by the way... happen all day, not just in the morning).

 

Here's a view from one of my favorite vomit locations, the balcony at work. Just on the other side of that hill is the Hollywood sign! Neat huh?

 

 

I quickly realized that getting educated about what's about to happen to my body would probably help... BIG MISTAKE. THE INTERNET IS A TERRIBLE PLACE!!

 

I switched gears and decided to start small by checking out the baby section at Target, and maybe Babies R Us. Whoa... talk about overwhelming! There are all kinds of gadgets and trinkets and toys, it would put Barbie to shame! What the hell is the difference between a burp cloth, a receiving blanket, and just a regular hand towel? Breast pumps are $300? There's an entire isle devoted to nipples at Babies R Us?

 

AND WHAT THS HELL IS THIS?!?!?!

 

I had to walk away. It was just too much.

 

But now that I've made all this "Facebook Official," and I have wonderful people like you reading this, I can reach out for help and advice. I'm going to need a LOT of it, and I've learned now that there's no such thing as TMI.

 

When our first trimester screening came up and I got to see my little gummy bear again, all the stress and fear went out the window.

 

Here's baby at 13 weeks old.

 

The first thing we noticed was the GIANT nose, but don't worry... we've already started saving up for his/her eighteenth birthday nose job. He/she was wiggling all over the place, and for a moment we got to hear the most incredible sound... a heartbeat.

Pregnant

I'd been feeling funny for a few days and had strange cramping, so I assumed it was just that time of the month. Four days passed with the same strange feelings... so when Bryan left for work one morning I decided to take a test. We'd been trying for a while, so we were no strangers to disappointment, and I figured if I took the test alone, only one of us needed to be let down.

 

While waiting for the results to show up I made the bed, folded some laundry, then strolled over to the counter to look... and my jaw dropped. Holy sh*t it's positive! I started shaking and saying, "Oh my god," over and over again, and with shaky hands, called Bryan. No answer. I called again, tears streaming down my face... no answer. Finally the third time I hear an impatient "What?!?!" on the other end. "Bryan I'm pregnant!"

 

 

 

And here we are now, 14 weeks later and as excited and terrified as we could be. The first trimester was ROUGH. I developed a food aversion to BBQ sauce, iceburg lettuce, fried onions, and a handful of other things. I was bed ridden with morning sickness and spent my time either crying, or heaving. It was the most difficult secret to keep, especially at work, but when we had our first ultrasound, it was all worth it.

 

Here's our little guy/girl at just 8 weeks old, and the size of a gummy bear.

 

 

The whole concept of creating a human being from scratch is still so amazing to me! Right now he/she is the size of a navel orange and getting bigger each day. My pants are getting snug, and I'm already slowly transitioning into maternity clothes.

 

This is happening... we're about to be a family of three, and I can't wait!

 

Baby is due April 27th, 2012.