Wednesday

Wednesday evening at 9pm, I'll be induced to have this baby. Shit's getting REAL.

At my last doctor appointment, the first thing she said when she walked in the room is, "You're going to lose  a LOT of weight in the next couple weeks because you're carrying a BIG baby." I quickly told her that I don't want to know how big this baby is, but she assured me that the results of my ultrasound are just an estimate, and she's never delivered an eleven pound baby. Yeah... ELEVEN POUNDS, but she swears it's probably closer to seven and a half. 

Although my blood pressure has been pretty normal, she still suggested that I be induced, and we decided that Wednesday evening would be perfect so I could hopefully deliver on Thursday if all goes according to plan. My chances are having a C-Section are 10% due to his weight and a few other factors, so I have high hopes of delivering the old fashioned way. I'm still nervous as hell though, because I know that being induced can be brutal, but we're all packed and prepared.

I loaded up my labor bag with the basic essentials; rice sock, back massager, toiletries, socks, robe, and my blankie, and I also packed away some magazines and DVD's. Nothing says labor like the movie Django! We're also bringing along a camera, video camera, iPads, and my husband's laptop. I plan on sleeping through Wednesday evening, but I'm well prepared if the anxiety get the best of me, which I'm sure it will. 

Today my sister came over and took me out for a much needed pedicure, so my toes and feet are all set for their close up, and these next two days I'm going to focus on relaxing and gearing up for motherhood. I sat in complete silence today doing absolutely nothing for a good hour, and I loved every minute. 

The next time you hear from me, I'll probably be a mom, so please wish me a speedy and safe delivery, and think of me Wednesday night and Thursday morning. Thanks for keeping me company and keeping me sane these past nine months!

Inducing

Today I had the day entirely to myself, so I decided to spend it doing a total house clean up. I attacked all three bathrooms, changed sheets on the beds, vacuumed upstairs, the stairs, and downstairs, did laundry, watered my planter, and worked on getting Zach's stuff together. It feels like my "To Do" list is endless, and the moment I finish one task, a hundred more tasks pop up.

While cleaning the upstairs guest bathroom today, I decided to finally put shelf liners in the cabinet and I found hair accessories from the previous home owner in there. DISGUSTING. We've lived in this house for two years and we're still finding their stuff. It's so gross. 

Some people say that a surge of energy like what I had today is a sign that labor is coming, but I think it was just an average day for me. It's like when you read the side effects on the side of a prescription bottle and you become convinced that you're having a reaction to it... that's where my energy surge came from. I feel like I'm anticipating labor so much that I'm convincing myself it's happening. 

I chowed down on pineapple today because someone told me it can help induce labor, and I made sure I did plenty of squats when cleaning. I did so much work today that I finally had to stop because my legs stopped working and I could barely stand anymore. I thought for SURE that by the end of the day we would be heading to the hospital to deliver... nope.

So now I'm off to bed, and we'll see if I make it through the night. Will tonight be the night I go into labor? Will I go into labor at all? Am I going to have to have a C-Section? I'm so sick of being pregnant. 

Ultrasound

I could have this baby any day now, and the anticipation is KILLING ME! My doctor scheduled me for one last ultrasound to check on the baby's weight, and she was going to decide from there if and when to induce me, or schedule a C-Section. She doesn't want me to go a day past 40 weeks because of my blood pressure history, and if the baby is too big (he's been measuring pretty big), then she'll have to cut him out of my body.

Yesterday was my last ultrasound, and I got no answers. I was TOTALLY convinced that I was going to go in, and they were going to take one look at me and send me to the hospital to be induced, but of course that was just wishful thinking on my end. So I cleaned the house and washed all the bedsheets for nothing... DAMN!

I have a soft spot in my heart for ultrasound technicians. I know that they're only allowed to look and not tell you anything, so they probably get a lot of crap from patients, and I make it a point to be extra nice to them. The soul purpose of this appointment was to find out the baby's weight, and I decided going in that I didn't want to know, because if he's estimated to be nine pounds or more, it's all I'm going to think about going into labor, and it's sure to freak me out. However, my husband wanted to know the weight, and he's not very good at keeping this kind of information to himself, so I'd be sure to find out at some point. But thank god, the tech couldn't tell us anything!

The check up was a little rough at the beginning because I was supposed to go in with a full bladder and didn't. I'm sorry... but I can barely take a sip at the drinking fountain without having to run to a bathroom five minutes later, so there's no way I would be able to hold 40oz of water for an hour. She took pictures and videos for about twenty awkward minutes before calling in my husband to show us what she was seeing.

As the baby gets bigger, he gets harder to see in an ultrasound because of the lack of space, and his bones are developed more making them difficult to see around, so we weren't able to see too much. However, we did get to see his little face which was scrunched up in a grimace (just like his mommy), and we saw his little hand open and close, then move to his mouth where he proceeded to suck this thumb. To some, that may not sound very exciting, but it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen, and even the technician got really excited. She started squealing, "Do you see it? Do you see it?" as she  shoved the wand harder into my stomach and started pointing frantically at the screen. We could even see his little throat moving as he was going to town on his hand!

So now the waiting game continues. On Friday I see my doctor for the results of the ultrasound, and to schedule a day to induce. I've been spending these last few days on the phone with my mom and sister who have been mentally preparing me for delivery day and giving me awesome words of support and encouragement. I've been getting the last details of Zach's room all put together, filling the freezer and pantry with food, and making sure I have plenty of toiletries stocked up in our bathrooms to avoid trips to Target. It feels like I'm preparing for the worst, but really I'm preparing for the unknown. By next week, I'm gonna be a mom, and my life is going to be different... for the better.

Annoyed

I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy by just a few days, and my patience is running as thin as my cervix. Not only am I ready to get this baby out, but I'm ready to punch someone in the face if I hear one more negative comment about having a baby.

I always thought that babies and children are a blessing, and a rewarding part of life, but the moment I got pregnant, all I got were horror stories, and they keep getting worse the closer I get to my due date. If I had a dollar for every time I heard these comments, I could pay for all eight years of my son's medical school.

1.) "Your life will never be the same, enjoy it now."
2.) "Enjoy your sleep, because you're never gonna get it again."
3.) "You say you want him out now, but soon you'll be wishing he was still in there."
4.) "Say goodbye to your money, kids are expensive."
5.) "Labor's gonna hurt like hell."

Here's the thing... we are fully aware that having kids is a life changing event. If we didn't want our lives to change, we wouldn't be having a baby. Same with the sleep thing and money thing. What happened to the excitement? The love? The rewards of having kids?? Is all of that a lie? When I'm with my nieces and nephews I want nothing more than to cuddle them all day, and it's always heartbreaking to hand them back to their parents, and now I don't have to. I'm stoked! I get to see my son experience Disneyland for the first time, throw him birthday parties, watch his face light up on Christmas morning, and rock him to sleep in my arms. Sure I know there will be some tough times, but isn't it worth it?

I was getting these comments so often in the beginning of my pregnancy that I really started to regret it, and had serious doubts about everything. I spent days crying and searching for help from family members, and finally came out of it, but now I'm hearing it all over again, and it's freaking me out again. I'm just trying to keep my eyes on the prize now, and focus on myself. I'm gearing up for what will be the most painful day of my life (so everyone keeps reminding me), and the sooner I get through it, the better.

Blessed

I can't believe how lucky we are to have so many people in our lives who love and care about the family we're creating. We have so much family and so many friends, that the best option was to have two baby showers, and in actuality, we had three with probably close to thirty people at each one.

I've already blogged about my first shower that my amazing, fabulous, sister in law threw for me which you can read about here, and just yesterday we wrapped up the last two. My husband has a very large family, and LOTS of friends, so my mother in law threw a double shower for us, one for me, and one for him. All the ladies came to my mother in law's house for a traditional shower, and all the men went to my house for a pizza and beer diaper party. The pizza and beer was provided, and they had to bring a pack of diapers. Genius right?

I arrived at my shower later than I planned, and was greeted by a TON of people with open arms and bright smiles. It was a whirlwind from there. There were clotheslines filled with adorable baby clothes hanging all over, blue streamers and confetti, a candy bar, and a mountain of gifts. It was also asked that each person bring a children's book with a message to the baby written inside, so there was a table loaded with books with notes inside that brought me and my husband to tears later.

We played the "guess the candy bar in the diaper" game, how big around is my belly, and everyone got to see a tray with nineteen items on it for just a few seconds, then had to write down as many as they could remember. Then came the gifts. No joke... we got everything on our registry. Car seats, stroller, pack and play, sheets, bottles, pump, and everything else you can think of that a baby would need. Don't even get me started on the pile of diapers we got!

Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures, but I know there were people there snapping away, so as soon as I get my hands on some, I'll post them.

Now I better get some laundry going to wash all the baby's new clothes and start putting his new stuff away!

Twenty

Twenty more days until he's here... or less!

I went to the doctor today for my weekly exam, and tonight she got up close and personal with Zach. No... really... she touched his head with her hand and let me know that I'm just about a centimeter dilated. PROGRESS!!! She scheduled me for an ultrasound in the next two weeks, and if I don't give birth before then, we'll decide when I DO give birth. He's been running a week ahead of himself in weight, and my doctor would like him out of me before I hit week 40. I would like him out now.

In other news, we went out tonight with some good friends of ours to see Jurassic Park 3-D on the big screen, and it was quite an experience. When my husband and I got to the ticket window, the teenager selling us the ticket turned up the charm. "Are you taking this lovely lady out tonight?" I felt like I was 80 years old, especially since right before that he asked if we saw the movie in the theater when it first came out. We realized he probably wasn't even born yet. But the movie was FANTASTIC in 3-D, I proudly wore my pajamas to the theater, and I didn't go into labor when the T-Rex escaped.

Soon

I've got 26 more days to go!!!

I'm uncomfortable, but not as uncomfortable as I thought I would be. My belly button is herniated which is painful from time to time, I feel constant pressure on my pelvis, and don't even get me started on the trips to the bathroom. Other than that, the changes have been subtle enough where I don't notice them much... until I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. I won't even go there though because the "fat" comments I've been getting are incredibly hurtful, and for the record, no I don't want to go on your weight loss plan after the baby.

I see the doctor every Friday now, and this last appointment was a promising one. The doctor has been pleased with my pregnancy overall, but she says she doesn't want me going a day beyond my due date (April 27th) because of minor issues I've had with my blood pressure. I've even signed the consent form to get Pitocin. Crazy stuff!

I've been trying to keep myself busy during the day, but I'm noticeably more tired than usual. I sleep 8 - 9 hours every night, and I take 2 - 3 hour naps a day. I think my "nesting" habits have settled down, because I'm perfectly content just sitting in silence all day. However, I need to keep in mind that people are going to be in and out of the house quite a bit in the next few weeks, so I've been trying to keep the house clean which has been pretty easy to do since I don't work. But I'm just so tired....