Adjusting

Not only has unemployment taken some time to get used to, but so has creating a human being. My back hurts all day, I'm not as limber as I used to be, and my body is constantly changing.

We bought a very tall bed earlier in the year, and I had to put a stool beside it so I can literally climb into bed each night. My nightstand consists of Tums (for my now constant acid reflux), Kleenex (for my always runny nose),  Prenatal Vitamins, and a brand new lamp for when nature calls three times a night. I'm not supposed to sleep on my back anymore, so I've become a side sleeper which is also difficult, not that any of that matters because I seem to be up all night anyway.

I can't bend over anymore to pick things up off the ground, if I get in my car and leave the car door open too far, I have to get back out to reach it because leaning out isn't possible anymore. It's hard to get up off the ground if I decide to sit there, and even getting off the couch is starting to be difficult. The husband has to carry the laundry up and down the stairs for me now because when I do it, I can feel all my stomach muscles pulling, and it's pretty painful.

I've lost all feeling in my fingers, and it only gets worse when my hands swell up to an enormous size after walking or eating. Food still tastes amazing, but everything gives me acid reflux so I don't look forward to meals as much as I used to.

I've got three months to go, and I'm only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable. How did Mrs. Duggar do this NINETEEN TIMES? I think I'm starting to figure it out...

A few nights ago my husband and I were laying in bed watching TV, and as usual I could feel baby Z wiggling around in my stomach. I looked down and saw him poking out of my skin! I jumped in surprise and screamed, and for the next twenty minutes we sat there staring at my stomach watching it move and shift until finally the baby fell asleep. As creepy as it was, it was still pretty amazing to see, and I can't wait to hold my little guy in my arms and cover him with kisses.

Nursery

Before we learned that Zachary was a Zachary and not a Zoey or Magnolia, my husband's mom took us crib shopping and we picked out the PERFECT crib. I had decided long ago that the bedroom colors would be blue, yellow, and bright red no matter what, so with the exception of a mural, there wouldn't be much painting needed. So the day the crib arrived, we were ready to set it up. I'm in LOVE with it!

We've been holding off buying anything else for the room until we knew the gender, but we had a plan. If baby was a girl, the room would be themed to houses and the movie "Up," and if baby was a boy, there would be a cowboy and "Toy Story" theme. We SWORE we wouldn't go crazy... and then we went to Costco. 

Are those not the biggest stuffed animals you've ever seen?? You'll probably be seeing those a lot when Zach is born in April because my photographer sister already has big plans to use them as props in his newborn pictures.

Life

Ever since High School I've had a set plan for how my life was going to be, and there was no room for changes.

1.) I would work at Disneyland to get through college. (Done!)

2.) When graduating college, I would get my dream job at a very specific radio station, doing one very specific thing. (Nobody believed I would ever do that, but I did. Done!)

3.) Meet the man of my dreams and marry him. (Done!)

4.) Get pregnant with my first, and quit my job to be a stay at home mom. (Now this is where it gets interesting...)

In my life plan I said I would have two kids, a boy first, then a girl. Throughout this pregnancy, I SWORE I was having a girl and it was strange to me because that wasn't part of my "plan." Also, being a stay at home mom just wasn't an option yet because of money.

Last Thursday I was sitting at home and noticed that I wasn't getting my work email on my phone, then the text messages starting coming in from friends, "Are you ok?" "OMG... Call me when you can..." At that point I knew I was getting laid off, and sure enough the phone call came. Hearing the words "Your position has been eliminated" was like getting hit by a truck, and with my hormones already raging, I didn't take the news lightly. I'm five months pregnant, and unemployed.  

Later that day while rehashing what had happened, I came to a shocking realization... whether I like it or not, I'm a stay at home mom, and this was all part of my life plan. Oh crap... that means there's no way I'm having a girl, I'm having a boy!

The next morning while laying on the table in the doctor's office waiting for the ultrasound, I asked the woman to please give me good news because I really needed some. She smiling and started the ultrasound and typed up on the screen the big letters "BOY."

At that very moment I knew I was exactly where I needed to be, and everything was going to be ok. 

Food

As I said in the previous post, food has never tasted better. Everything I eat is the best thing I've ever eaten, so I look forward to every meal. One thing I've noticed since announcing my pregnancy is that people love to feed a pregnant girl, and I've loved being fed. Going to work is always exciting, because I never know what's going to show up on my desk.

And I don't just get food, my BFF at work got me this beautiful Hydrangea the day I announced the news to the office. Needless to say, I'm a lucky girl.

Symptoms

They say every pregnancy is different, and there have been plenty of surprises with mine so far.

Morning Sickness:

You've all heard me talk about this... so I'll keep it brief. It sucked. A LOT. It was a major success if I could stand up to dry my hair and brush my teeth. I told my husband to enjoy this baby because I would never have another one ever again. The last day I ever complained about it was when I went in to get some blood drawn. I mentioned my morning sickness to the nurse and she told me that she lost 75 pounds during her pregnancy and was hospitalized because her morning sickness was so bad for the ENTIRE NINE MONTHS. I never complained again, and lucky for me, the sickness went away after about 8 weeks. 

Cravings:

I had plenty of food aversions in the first trimester, and I was REALLY excited to see what I would crave. For a while I wanted nothing but Rubio's chicken tacos, then Chipotle, then cheese enchiladas, then I realized that no matter what food I thought of... I wanted it terribly. I noticed that every single thing I ate was the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. We went on a vacation to North Carolina and Florida, and all I wanted was cheeseburgers. I must of had one every single day, and just thinking about it now makes me want to drive over to Bob's Big Boy and pick one up. Oh, and baked potatoes.. I can't get enough! So as much as this sounds like it would be a "craving," I can live without it, and I have NEVER considered going out for a late night food run. I'm just going to say that those are the foods that always sounded good to me, and not really something I craved. And besides... I wanted all those things every day BEFORE I was pregnant.

Weight Gain:

This always scared me the most, but it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Sure my boobs have reached world record sizes, but other than that, everything has stayed the same till fairly recently. (Keep in mind... I'm two days away from hitting the five month mark.) I've gained six pounds so far which isn't too bad, and only last week did I discover that my jeans were way too uncomfortable to wear. My mom and mom in law have filled my closet with maternity clothes and tonight I'm wearing maternity jeans for the very first time. I will never wear regular jeans again.

Skin and Hair:
I always thought pregnancy would give me a glorious head of hair, and that perfect "glow" every talks about,  but it's done the opposite. My face is breaking out, and my hair is falling out and going limp. It's a total bummer, but it's only temporary... right?

Mood Swings:
My husband might tell you differently, but I think I've been pretty reasonable. I've had maybe 4 emotional meltdowns. The first one happened while I was answering phones at work and I broke down crying uncontrollably out of fear of what's going to happen to my body. The second one happened the next day when I was telling my husband about the meltdown at work. The third happened when I was heading home from a trip to the river that I went on with my parents. I cried for an hour and a half non stop because I realized that I'll probably never get that alone time with my parents ever again, because I'll always have a baby with me now. And the fourth one happened when the husband and I were getting ready for bed and I started sobbing out of control because I missed my grandparents who passed away four years ago. Hormones do strange things... and I think I've been lucky. But then again, I've still got four months to go.

Overall I think I'm doing alright with everything. I sneeze a lot, and I had to put a step stool by my bed to help me climb up there, but other than that, I'm almost accustomed  to this pregnancy.

Oh! And here's my bump! I'm just shy of 18 weeks, and baby is the size of a sweet potato. Just in time for Thanksgiving...

Nerves

There's been a lot going through my mind since finding out that my life is about to change completely. What if I'm a bad mom? What if I drop the baby? What if I fall down the stairs when I'm nine months pregnant? What if the baby is allergic to anything? What if the baby cries when I'm holding it like most babies do?

 

Frankly... all of this is incredibly frightening. I don't know a single thing about babies, and I've certainly never changed a diaper. GROSS.

 

These thoughts are what I fondly refer to as Pregnancy Meltdowns. A doctor might call it a hormone imbalance, but "metldown" is more animated. This thoughts often occur to me inbetween morning sickness sessions (which by the way... happen all day, not just in the morning).

 

Here's a view from one of my favorite vomit locations, the balcony at work. Just on the other side of that hill is the Hollywood sign! Neat huh?

 

 

I quickly realized that getting educated about what's about to happen to my body would probably help... BIG MISTAKE. THE INTERNET IS A TERRIBLE PLACE!!

 

I switched gears and decided to start small by checking out the baby section at Target, and maybe Babies R Us. Whoa... talk about overwhelming! There are all kinds of gadgets and trinkets and toys, it would put Barbie to shame! What the hell is the difference between a burp cloth, a receiving blanket, and just a regular hand towel? Breast pumps are $300? There's an entire isle devoted to nipples at Babies R Us?

 

AND WHAT THS HELL IS THIS?!?!?!

 

I had to walk away. It was just too much.

 

But now that I've made all this "Facebook Official," and I have wonderful people like you reading this, I can reach out for help and advice. I'm going to need a LOT of it, and I've learned now that there's no such thing as TMI.

 

When our first trimester screening came up and I got to see my little gummy bear again, all the stress and fear went out the window.

 

Here's baby at 13 weeks old.

 

The first thing we noticed was the GIANT nose, but don't worry... we've already started saving up for his/her eighteenth birthday nose job. He/she was wiggling all over the place, and for a moment we got to hear the most incredible sound... a heartbeat.

Pregnant

I'd been feeling funny for a few days and had strange cramping, so I assumed it was just that time of the month. Four days passed with the same strange feelings... so when Bryan left for work one morning I decided to take a test. We'd been trying for a while, so we were no strangers to disappointment, and I figured if I took the test alone, only one of us needed to be let down.

 

While waiting for the results to show up I made the bed, folded some laundry, then strolled over to the counter to look... and my jaw dropped. Holy sh*t it's positive! I started shaking and saying, "Oh my god," over and over again, and with shaky hands, called Bryan. No answer. I called again, tears streaming down my face... no answer. Finally the third time I hear an impatient "What?!?!" on the other end. "Bryan I'm pregnant!"

 

 

 

And here we are now, 14 weeks later and as excited and terrified as we could be. The first trimester was ROUGH. I developed a food aversion to BBQ sauce, iceburg lettuce, fried onions, and a handful of other things. I was bed ridden with morning sickness and spent my time either crying, or heaving. It was the most difficult secret to keep, especially at work, but when we had our first ultrasound, it was all worth it.

 

Here's our little guy/girl at just 8 weeks old, and the size of a gummy bear.

 

 

The whole concept of creating a human being from scratch is still so amazing to me! Right now he/she is the size of a navel orange and getting bigger each day. My pants are getting snug, and I'm already slowly transitioning into maternity clothes.

 

This is happening... we're about to be a family of three, and I can't wait!

 

Baby is due April 27th, 2012.