Hospital

Last night we had a tour of the hospital, and that's when all this REALLY got real for me.

I had to arrive a half hour before the tour to pre-register for my hospital stay, fill out some paperwork, and visit some vendors. The information at the tables was GREAT and I picked up my fair share of pamphlets.

When the presentation started, I felt like I was in an infomercial. They gave demonstrations on exercise balls, swaddles, slings, and a DVD from some world famous Pediatrician names Dr. Karp. He's the baby whisperer, and swears that his techniques will give you a happier baby. His techniques include shaking your baby and making loud sounds right in his/her face. I don't know who was more confused... me, or the baby in the video they had us watch. Here's a clip of him in action.

From there they went on to talk about the hospital, and what it'll be like when delivery day comes. It's all pretty basic, but the big letdown was when they told us that no children under the age of 18 are allowed to visit, which means I wont be able to see my niece and nephew till I go home. So sad. :(

One thing that really stood out during the presentation, is their stance on breastfeeding. I know I've touched on this before in a previous blog, but a few things they said really got my blood boiling. They told us that within an hour after delivering a lactation consultant will come in to help with nursing, and if we had no intention of breast feeding... too bad. They said that whether we like it or not, we WILL be breastfeeding, and bottles are not allowed. Ummmm excuse me? Yes I said I do plan on nursing, but since when is it mandatory?! I think every woman should have to right to decide what they want to do with their bodies and their child. I turned to my husband and whispered, "Dare me to bring bottles and pump on delivery day?" He chuckled, but I think I'm gonna do it just to piss everyone off.

When the tour began, we got to see the nursery where a fresh new baby was being looked over, and we got to check out a postpartum recovery room. The smell of the hospital and the sight of the bed brought back very sad memories of my last days with my grandparents, and from there on out, it was a struggle to hold back the tears and anxiety. We saw the waiting room, nurses station, and paternity testing office (very classy), then headed into an actual delivery room. This is where I shut down. The bed looked like a torture table complete with big scary stirrups and plastic sheeting. There were monitors and wires and an equally scary bed for my baby. The room was dimly lit to create that romantic feel, but when our tour guide pointed out the spotlights on the ceiling that will be pointing directly at my lady bits, I grabbed my husbands hand and held on for dear life. Shit just got real.

We rode home in silence when it was all over and devoured brownies and ice cream (don't tell my nutritionist). My husband said it still hasn't hit him yet, but my mind is still reeling. Whether I like it or not, this baby is coming, and all I can do is pray for the delivery to be as quick and easy as possible. I've never been more scared. 

Three

This week marks the end of my second trimester of pregnancy, and the beginning of my third. SCARY!!

It seems like I've been pregnant forever, but at the same time, it's going by really REALLY fast, and I only have three more months to go till the end, or should I say... the beginning.

As I welcome the third trimester into my life, I've also welcomed numb hands, feet that have grown a half size, and a bladder that just doesn't do it's job very well. I use to pride myself on my bladder of steel (only having to use the restroom maybe twice a day), but now when I go out, I frantically locate the closest available bathroom. (FYI he Marshall's bathroom in Orange off 17th street is the most disgusting bathroom I've ever seen, and the bathroom outside of Toontown in Disneyland is a close second.Thought you should know.) What other wonderful things have been happening to my body? Heat rashes, trouble standing after I've been sitting for too long, and swollen fingers that have forced me to take off my wedding rings. So sad.

My chances to do whatever the hell I want whenever I want are dwindling fast, and we're trying to make the most of it. We considered taking a "Babymoon" cruise, but ships won't allow pregnant women to ride after 23 weeks along. I'm 27. We went to Disneyland to use up the last of my free tickets from my former place of employment, but of course I can't go on rides, and there are only so many times you can see Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln. Don't get me wrong though, we still had a great time and even picked up an outfit for the baby. It was strange walking around knowing that it might be our very last time at the park with just the two of us.

Baby's room now has a dresser, changing table, and Diaper Genie, and we picked up a smaller inexpensive changing table for downstairs, along with another Diaper Genie. (The Diaper Genie's are hand me downs from my brother and sister in law who ended up with three somehow when they had their little girl last year.) My brother and sister in law also hooked me up with some clothes, and reusable diapers, and my sister hooked me up with toys and puzzles. I've got two baby showers coming up in the next two months, so I'm hoping we'll get the rest of the stuff we need then. We need so much stuff....

This week I have an appointment with the hospital to register so when the big day comes I won't need to sit in the lobby leaking fluids and screaming in agony while filling out paperwork, and we're getting a tour of the whole maternity ward. I also have a long list of classes to take, and I'll probably start signing up for those this week too.

So much to do, with so little time!

Here's the little outfit we picked out for baby Z while at Disneyland. This is the moment in time where we realized that we have lots of shirts for him, but no pants.

And here is everything else I wanted to buy for him, but had to pass up because I'm broke.

Ok the horseshoe one is actually a display and not something for sale, but I want it anyway for his cowboy themed bedroom.

Doctors

I've seen so many doctors and nurses and people in lab coats since I got pregnant that just the thought of it makes me head spin.

My primary doctor referred me to my OB/GYN, who refers me to an Ultrasound Doctor, who refers me to a nutritionist, who refers me to a lab to get tests done. And all these people have like, 100 nurses. I've had four ultrasounds, I've had my blood drawn probably about a dozen times already, I've peed into about a dozen tiny cups, and I've collected 48 hours worth of urine. How did we all survive without all these tests?

I like my OB. At first I wasn't too sure about her because she didn't give me ANY information on what the hell to expect during pregnancy, but she's grown on me quite a bit. In the end she'll be doing the only thing I need her to do, get this child out of me while keeping us both alive, and I trust her to do that.

As far as the Lab where I always get my blood drawn... it's a disgusting place. Don't get me wrong, the staff is super nice, and the place is fairly clean, but the people go there for tests are pretty gross for the most part. They're all coughing and hacking away in their hands, then touching everything in sight. There's always a long line to use the one bathroom where everyone gives urine samples, and you cant help but pray the that person before you cleaned up after themselves. Sometimes they take a really long time in there... and you wonder if you're going to be stuck in a bathroom that someone just wrecked with the nastiest poop ever. The whole Lab process is emotionally exhausting, and it's probably my least favorite place to visit while pregnant.

The ultrasound place is my FAVORITE. The staff is hilarious and social, and it's at the hospital where I'll be giving birth. We always go there in a good mood, and leave in a better mood. Maybe it's because we just saw our little boy and his giant nose.

I'm looking forward to giving birth just to be done with all the testing and poking and prodding and peeing.

Chimney

Our house is very special. No matter what the temperature is outside, it's always ten degrees cooler inside. It's fabulous in the summer, but a nightmare in when it's cold, and our heater just doesn't seem to work very well downstairs. We have a fireplace in our front room, but I've been terrified to use because when it come to our house, if it can go wrong... it will. So we decided we were sick of the cold, and it was time to call a chimney sweep.

It was a beautiful Friday morning when our sweeper arrived, and right away he gave us a lesson on chimneys and how they work. He had diagrams and everything! A half hour later he finally came inside to do the inspection. Good news is, our chimney didn't need to be cleaned, but the bad news is, we could have died if we started a fire. Turns out, the fireplace was rigged for fake logs, but someone did a Mickey Mouse repair so they could burn real logs, and the whole set up was completely rusted because there was no cap on top of our chimney. This is the time that any normal chimney sweep would give us a quote on prices and start working, but our guy decided that this was the perfect time to practice his celebrity impersonations and accents. None of them were very good, and when we was done, he decided to throw some history trivia our way to see how much we know. This went on for at least an hour.

We learned this whole guy's life story in the three hours he was at our house (which was two and a half hours longer than he needed to be there.) He speaks six different languages, he's a member of SAG and AFTRA, he's adopted, and has lots of famous friends. He sang for us, told some jokes, and finally did the repairs on our chimney and fireplace.

When it came time to pay up, I assumed that meant he was done, but then he pulled out a deck of cards and did some terrible card tricks, followed by some equally terrible coin tricks. Did I forget to mention he told us he sometimes performs at the Magic Castle?

That evening we had our very first fire in the fireplace, and it was amazing. We cuddled up on the couch and just stared at the flames talking about life and babies, and it would have been a perfect evening until the dogs started chasing the cats and knocking things over and attacking each other. I love our crazy little family, and I love our fireplace.

Glucose

Today's post is very special, because I'm writing it from the Lab where I get all my blood drawn and urine tested. I'm here for my Glucose Tolerance test! Hooray!!

I've been dreading this test for a long time, but I'm about ten minutes in and so far it isn't that bad. I couldn't eat after midnight, so of course I dreamed of food all night and woke up every fifteen minutes to stare at the clock. Finally around 6am I rolled out of bed, got dressed, and headed to the Lab. I had nothing better to do anyway. It turns out 6:45am is the perfect time to be here, because nobody else was here! I got my blood drawn right away and was given the choice between Orange or Fruit Punch for my glucose drink of choice. Every pregnant woman I've talked to has told me how gross this drink is, but I guzzled down my fruit punch and it was DELICIOUS.

Now I'm sitting here with a timer, and once I hit one hour, I get my blood drawn again, then I have another to wait to get my blood drawn AGAIN. Today I'm a human pin cushion, but as soon as I'm done with this, I'm getting my pregnant ass to a Rubio's for some nachos. Just don't tell my nutritionist...

Dreams

I'm a notorious bad dreamer. I wake up screaming, crying, and yelling more often than not, and my dreams sometimes continue when I'm awake. I hear loud noises, see people, and often don't recognize my husband sleeping beside me.

I've heard that pregnancy can really mess with your dreams, so I've been pretty nervous these past few months, but I haven't really had any unusual episodes. I'm pleased to say that tonight for the first time, I dreamed of my son. It wasn't a graphic dream like I've been dreading, but a sweet dream. He was absolutely adorable, I loved him more than anything, and all I wanted to do was carry him around and snuggle him. It was a quick dream, and when I woke up, I was really sad it was over.

I've come a long way from the anxiety attacks and dread I was having in the first trimester, and as I enter my third I think I can finally say with confidence that I'm ready, and I can't wait.

Nutrition

The holidays and unemployment weren't kind to my waistline, and being pregnant doesn't help.
After the holidays I went to the doctor for my monthly check up and weigh in, and discovered that I'm up 23 pounds since getting pregnant. Not too shabby! I asked my doctor if I'm on track, and she said everything is good and she's not worried.

The next week I went in for my ultrasound and the doctor (who is not my OB/GYN) gave me "the look" and said we needed to discuss my weight. Ummm... first of all this was our first time meeting, and second, my doctor who's been with me since day one and will probably deliver my child said I was fine. She asked if I would be willing to see a nutritionist, and after finding out it was free, I agreed.

When I came in for my appointment with the nutritionist the next week, I was the only one who showed up. Turns out there were supposed to be two other women there with me, but they were smart and didn't show. As we got started, it clear right away that this woman had no idea what she was talking about. She gave me a list of food groups and suggested foods in each group that I should be eating. For protein, she suggested I eat deli meat and hot dogs, and any pregnant woman knows that those are big no no's. I asked her why she's suggesting those when every doctor has told me to stay away from them, and she had no answer for me.

I mentioned that I've been walking every morning and drinking spinach shakes that contain spinach, berries, and a banana, and she gave me a look of horror. She told me I shouldn't be drinking those more than twice a week, but couldn't give me a real reason why. I asked her what I should do if I'm still starving at the end of the day after my 2,000 calorie allotment, and she handed me a list of anytime foods I can eat. On that list was spinach and berries.... the exact thing she told me not to eat. When I brought this to her attention, she changed the subject.

Near the end of the appointment when she forbid me from drinking juice, but told me to enjoy all the diet soda I wanted, I decided that this whole thing was a waste of time. She told me I'm forbidden to eat cold cereal, but I can have it right before I got to bed, I asked her if I should be eating more since I'm exercising, she said no, and now soft cheeses are ok for me to eat. The whole thing was a big contradiction to everything I've been told, and everything I've researched, and I'm probably not going back. I'm supposed to be documenting everything I eat for the next two weeks, but I doubt I will. I weighed myself today and discovered that I've lost five pounds, but I'm supposed to be gaining a pound a week until I give birth.

I'm eating healthy for the most part, taking my prenatal vitamins, and exercising, and that's exactly what I should be doing. No diet for this girl!