Childbirth

The husband and I signed up for a handful of classes at our hospital, and this weekend we will be attending our very first one, Childbirth Preparation. The woman who helped me decide what classes to take suggested that we take the condensed weekend version of this class because we get a DVD. However... we have to watch the DVD before we attend the class in person.

Tonight... we watched that DVD.

I have pretty mixed emotions about what I've seen. For one thing, I'm VERY thankful that I didn't have to watch an actual childbirth. I saw it in High School Biology, I saw it in Adolescent Studies in College, and I recently saw it on Shameless on Showtime... I don't need to see it again. On a negative not, there were just too many things I couldn't take seriously. For example, this screen shot below.

The instructor (in red) has chosen an unlucky couple to assume the position that probably caused them to wind up here in the first place, while she holds a pelvic bone to show how it moves to allow a baby to pass through. Sure the guy is giving the girl a back massage, but it still looks totally wrong and totally embarrassing. I honestly don't see myself doing this in the delivery room.

Don't get me wrong, I learned a LOT watching this video, and it helped soothe my anxious nerves, and it gave me a better idea of what to expect. But the one things I really took away from this, it that Hollywood has ruined me. I always thought that when labor hits, it hits fast, and you've gotta get your ass to a hospital FAST. Not true. You go into labor, then go to a movie, or take a nice stroll through the neighborhood, or maybe even take a nice long nap. You spend the first few HOURS of labor at home until contractions are four minutes apart, and one minute in length consistently for an hour. In short, when I can no longer talk because the pain is so intense, it's probably time to go to the hospital.

The gentleman below in the baseball hat had the same look on his face as I did watching this video. (He was our favorite part of the whole three hour experience.)

After an hour of a half of learning breathing exercises and labor positions, it was time to watch this woman get on the ground and act our childbirth with a doll tucked up underneath her shirt. Nothing says Date Night more than a woman moaning and groaning on the ground, spread eagle, fully clothed, pulling a cabbage patch kid out from under her sweater. (Another note, she reminded me of the school secretary on Ferris Bueller's Day Off.) 

After the fake birth, she walked us through recovery a bit, and we turned it off for the night. This whole thing was pretty intense, and I'm surprised I didn't burst into tears half way through and beg my husband to turn it off. Maybe I'm numb to terms like mucus plug, ring of fire, and crowning, but this video didn't scare me as much as I thought it would. Humor has been my friend and my sanity through all this (hence: this blog), and laughing through the scary times helps. I did a LOT of laughing through this video. Maybe laughing through labor will be something I can do... but then again, here come all those moms telling me how much pain I'm going to be in. Just let me have my moment of ignorance. 

I'm going in expecting the worst, but hoping for the best, and I'm crossing my fingers every single day.

Progress

Eight more weeks to go, and it's really time to get cracking on getting Zach's room together. I pulled out all the clothes we've received from family and friends, put them in piles according to size, and loaded up his dresser. I'm still holding off on washing them, but I DID pick his "going home outfit." He's going to be such a little cutie.

My sister in law threw an amazing baby shower for me (more on that later), and with the cowboy themed decorations, I got to decorate the room a bit. I never saw a more adorable windowsill!

We were also gifted this too cute for words toy box! It's cowboy themed (or course) and super interactive. The little barn door on the bottom left slides open, and the saloon doors on the top middle portion open up. The lid to the toy chest stays open when lifted to keep little fingers from getting slammed, and everything about it is perfect!

In this corner, I present to you the most comfortable chair in the world. It reclines too, and it's my favorite place to nap in the afternoon. The sign in the chair was handmade by a very dear friend of ours and we're going to hang it above his door. It's crazy how everything in his room goes perfectly with everything else.

His closet may look like a mess to you, but it's WAY better than what it used to be. For starters, it was completely empty, and there was no rod to hang clothes on. Now he's got lots of cute jackets hanging up, and his hats, bibs, shoes, and diapers neatly organized.

Here's another decoration from the baby shower. My brother made a bunch of little cowboy scenes inside baby food jars, and this one was my absolute favorite. It's an Indian standing over a cowboy that is missing his head, both arms, and one leg. Not only does it incorporate the cowboy theme into the bedroom, but it clearly defines the sense of humor we have, and hope that Zachary will have as well.

We've got more decorations for his room on their way in the mail, and I of course have to talk about the baby shower. I'm actually having a second baby shower in April with my husband's side of the family! We've got lots going on in the next couple of months, so I'm sure I'll have plenty to tell you. Can't wait!

Gross

There are two things in life that gross me out to no end, poop and boogers. They also happen to be the two things I dread the most with this upcoming baby. With my niece and nephew I had a rule, when they're potty trained, I'll babysit. I gag at the thought of a poopy diaper, and the thought of examining and wiping someone's private area makes me feel like a pervert. I know they're just babies and don't care, but it still feels so wrong.

I want my diaper experiences to be a little less painful, so I've decided to go the route of reusable diapers. They come in all kinds of fun colors and prints, so maybe I'll actually enjoy the experience a bit more. Zulilly has some deals on reusable diapers occasionally, so I picked up some cute ones like this little guy.

I also got some with monsters on the butt, and I've been gifted a bunch of solid color ones from my brother and mom. Not only are they cute and environmentally friendly, but they're easy to wash and they are more gentle on baby's skin. Don't even get me started on the grossness of diaper rash...

I'm still going to use disposable diapers, especially in the beginning and while traveling, but reusable would be great to use when we're at home.

Now we come to boogers. You can throw up on me and bleed on me all you want, but show me a booger, and I'll show you the contents of my stomach. I don't know what it is, but snot is the most disgusting thing in the world to me, and it was often my inspiration to throw up when I was keeled over with morning sickness. I watch these moms scratch boogers out of their kids noses and I lose my appetite for the week. While cruising through an over priced fancy baby boutique with my sister one day, we came across this.

It's called The Snotsucker, and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. It's a tube that you stick in the baby's nose, then you put the other end of the tube in your MOUTH, and suck the snot out of your child's face. I started dry heaving right there in the store and my sister was in hysterics immediately finding out how much it costs so she could buy it for me. WHO THINKS OF THIS STUFF?!?! This goes right up there on my list of Fantastic Moments in History. The top of the list is the first guy (or girl) who looked at a chicken and said, "I'm going to eat whatever comes out of this animal's butt."

I'm hoping that when the time comes to deal with poop and snot, I just won't care anymore. Kinda like how I used to be grossed out by dog poop, until I got a dog, and now I'm that person who picks it up 

by hand with just a plastic bag.

Wish me luck folks, I've got a lot of growing up to do.

Nesting

I really don't care for the term "nesting" because it makes me feel like an unwanted rat, so let's just say I'm busting my ass getting ready for baby Z's big arrival. Any home owner knows that a house is a constant work in progress, and we are certainly no exception to that. We've been working on our house for three years, and nowhere close to where we want it to be now. With the arrival of our little one though, there are things that HAD to be done.

1.) Z's bedroom. This should be a no brainer. Of course when welcoming a new member of a family, they need a place to stay, but I we wanted to do Z's bedroom right. Growing up I lived in a bedroom that was a constant work in progress. I didn't have a bedroom door for a very long time, and when I finally got one, it was glass, and then I had to wait another year to get a curtain on it. I also didn't have closet doors, so my room looked like a crazy unorganized mess. I want my son to have a room that's ready for him. If you've been keeping up on my blog, you know that a dear friend and I have been painting a couple fun murals on the walls. Well, I finished them both and said good riddance to my paints. They took longer than expected to finish, and it'll be a long time before I do another one.

I want his room to have a cowboy theme like Andy's room in Toy Story, but my husband is a big Buzz Lightyear fan, so we put that near baby's book shelf to represent imagination and adventure. 

And here's a picture of bandana bunting I added that still needs  a little adjusting.

2.) We got our carpet and couches cleaned!!! I have a cat who doesn't like to use her little box, and unfortunately our formal dining room carpet has fallen victim to her stubborn bladder. For the past year I've been far too humiliated to have guests over because of the smell, but now it's been handled, and the cat is slowly becoming an outdoor and garage cat. I can't have my kid crawling around on cat urine, and breathing it in certainly isn't healthy either. As for our couches, we were foolish enough to allow our dog full access to sleeping on the couch without a blanket, and when they turned from beige to brown, I knew it was time to get them cleaned. 

New rule: NO MORE DOGS ON THE COUCHES.

3.) Changing table. I've read all these Mommy Blogs saying not to waste your money on a changing table, but I've never liked being told what to do. Besides that, I just got my couches and carpet cleaned, so I'm going to be very picky about where I put a baby covered in poop. We have a two story house, and I have a history of falling down stairs, so we decided to have a changing station downstairs. Zulilly.com had a great deal on a changing table, and we couldn't pass it up.

And yes... that's a Diaper Genie, another Mommy Blog no no, but it was a hand me down so leave me alone. 

4.) We have horrid florescent lights in our kitchen, and out of the six, four of them were burned out. My husband bought brand new bulbs and when we went to install them, we discovered that the lighting fixtures themselves were crap, so he installed all new ones! I feel like I'm being welcomed into heaven every time I turn on my kitchen lights, and it's one of those projects that we wouldn't want to do with a newborn in the house.

We have a few more projects in the works to get things taken care of, but we haven't made enough progress yet for me to brag about them. Stay tuned! 

9

I've got nine more weeks to go, and it's amazing how much my body has changed. My belly seems to be bigger than life (especially after I eat), and it's really starting to get in the way. Bending down to pick things up has now because a struggle, and the other day I had to call my husband in the room for help because I couldn't reach across the kitchen counter to open the window. But the good news is, no stretch marks (yet), and no nasty black line down the center of my belly. Oh yeah... and no popped out belly button!!!

My wrists are both totally messed up, and with each passing day my hands become more and more useless. I read that as your pregnancy progresses, your ligaments loosen up causing aches and pains, and carpel tunnel. I'm almost relieved not to be working anymore because my job required LOTS of hand writing and typing. I don't know how i would have survived.

Acid reflux had really become a bigger problem, and I often wake up in the middle of the night choking. I've gone through an entire bottle of Tums in the past month, and although my doctor told me it's ok to take Zantac, I'm still uneasy about putting anything in my body that has a warning label on the bottle. I had to give up jalapenos, but as I said my tearful goodbye, I promised them I'll see them again in no time at all... and that's a promise I intend to keep.

As far as baby goes, that's a whole other story. He's rocking and rolling and moving all over the place. The other day my husband and I were driving home from visiting family and suddenly I felt something poking my stomach hard. I looked down, and there was a little foot sticking out of my belly. No joke... I could hold it in my hand, and even my husband was able to feel it. I guess our little guy is ticklish because after we touched it, he pulled his foot back and kicked hard, and then we were too freaked out to touch him again. The sensation of feeling a baby move inside your body is indescribable. Everyone says, "It feels like gas," but to me, it feels like a giant fish is stuck in my body and trying desperately to get out. I don't think I care for the feeling, especially since I know he's only going to get bigger... and stronger.

My overall disposition at the moment is relaxed, but I still have my moments of absolute fear and dread. Today I had a doctor appointment (I go every two weeks now), and there was a newborn baby boy in the waiting room that I got stupid giddy over. I kept pulling on my husband's sleeve pointing at the baby carrier squealing, "Isn't he adorable?!?" The mother of the infant wasn't too pleased with my gawking and quickly covered him up, but it was too late, baby fever had hit hard, and I think I'm ready for this. But then again, ask me how I feel tomorrow and I'm sure I'll be a weeping mess.

Bump

I thought I'd skip the rambling today and show you this creepy video I took of my belly last week. If you look closely towards the bottom on the screen, you can see the baby kick twice.

 

Blues

As far as the emotional roller coaster goes, I thought I was doing pretty good, until yesterday. I woke up, but had absolutely no desire to get out of bed. You're probably thinking, "Ummm... that's me every day," and although I'll be the first to admit that I love a lazy day, this was different. I didn't want to get up, because I didn't want to face life. It took every ounce of willpower to go downstairs and make breakfast, and I only did it because my husband was complaining about being hungry, then I crawled back into bed.

Finally around noon I forced myself to get up and get some work done on the other painting in the baby's room, but didn't accomplish much because I just got too tired, so I sat down and fell asleep. This went on pretty much all day, and finally when my husband asked if I was ok, I broke down crying. I'm talking the "Ugly Cry," where your face contorts and you can barely get a world out because you're sobbing so hard.

The hospital tour really freaked me out, and I'm now overcome with fear all over again. I'm afraid of getting huge, I don't want to be in pain, and I certainly don't want to push an 8-10 pound baby out of a tiny hole in my body. What if I can't handle nursing? What if I don't love my baby? My husband sat and held me and let me cry it out, and he assured me that he's here for me, he loves me, and he's never going to leave my side. The emotions I'm feeling are totally overwhelming, and even while I write this now I'm fighting back the tears. I keep telling myself over and over that women all over the world are having babies every single day and I'm certainly not alone, but it doesn't help one bit, because I'm still going to be in a hospital at some point, and I'm still going to get huge.

Going through this emotional roller coaster probably means I'm a perfect candidate for postpartum depression, and that scares me too, but I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I just wish I could close my eyes and have my son in my arms without all the work it takes to get him here. I wish I could find a way out of this funk.