Watch out David Beckham... there's a new soccer player in town. My son.
The very first time I felt him kick and KNEW it was him, was during my birthday dinner the day after I got laid off. That morning we found out he's a boy, and during a special dinner celebration at our favorite Italian restaurant that night, I felt him. It's hard to explain what it feels like. Some people say it feels like gas, but to me it feels like that feeling you get in your stomach when the bass is really deep at a concert and you can feel it thumping in your stomach.
This child kicks ALL THE TIME, and as the days pass his kicks get stronger and harder, and it terrifies me because I know he's only going to grow bigger and stronger in the next three months.
Lately his kicks have been very low, like he's standing up, and it's VERY uncomfortable. I feel like a little foot is going to pop out of me if I stand up and walk. So I push the side of my stomach to move him, then it's even more uncomfortable.
At night I sit and watch my stomach shift and move, and it creeps me out in every way. There is a human being living inside of me, feeding off me, and soon he's going to rip out of my body.
Wish me luck these next three months, I'm going to need it.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Friday, January 18, 2013
Boobs
Breasts are a fact of life, and I've quickly learned that with pregnancy, they become casual dinner table topics. I'm a private person for the most part, and I don't like talking about sex or body parts, so when people I don't even know ask me if I plan to breast feed, it always makes me very uncomfortable. It's almost as bad as people touching my stomach.
Yes I plan to give nursing an honest try, and no I don't really want to discuss it further, but everyone has their opinions. I had a doctor sit down and tell me that I should NEVER give my child a bottle, and only weak woman give up on breast feeding. I was instantly offended because I was a formula baby and I turned out just fine. Turns out, I was allergic to milk when I was born, and that does NOT make my mom a failure. I know women who had constant infections, and were in incredible amounts of pain when trying to nurse, and to me, that does NOT make them a failure.
I respect everyone's opinion, and like I said, I'm going to give it the best shot I can, but I shouldn't be judged for it, and neither should anyone else.
Yes I plan to give nursing an honest try, and no I don't really want to discuss it further, but everyone has their opinions. I had a doctor sit down and tell me that I should NEVER give my child a bottle, and only weak woman give up on breast feeding. I was instantly offended because I was a formula baby and I turned out just fine. Turns out, I was allergic to milk when I was born, and that does NOT make my mom a failure. I know women who had constant infections, and were in incredible amounts of pain when trying to nurse, and to me, that does NOT make them a failure.
I respect everyone's opinion, and like I said, I'm going to give it the best shot I can, but I shouldn't be judged for it, and neither should anyone else.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Shots
Before we started trying to have a baby, my doctor wrote me a prescription for prenatal vitamins and told me to get a flu shot because I don't want to be pregnant and sick.
One year later, my new OB/GYN confirmed my pregnancy and told me to go out and get a flu shot.
The flu epidemic started getting pretty bad, and my mother called me and told me to get my ass to the pharmacy and get a flu shot.
This past Friday my brand new ultrasound doctor placed her hand on my knee, looked me in the eye and said, "I really need you to get a flu shot."
The time had come.
Now, I haven't had a shot (the medicinal kind) since 1988, so the idea of getting a shot was less than appealing, but I have someone else to think about now, so it was time to suck it up and get it done. Meh... I've waited this long, I'll do it tomorrow.
Saturday we registered at Babies R Us (see previous post), and I didn't want to deal with getting a shot, so I decided to do it Sunday.
Sunday we went to CVS and proclaimed that we were both there for a shot. That's right, my husband saw how scared I was, and offered to get one too to make me feel better. However, we were informed that our insurance doesn't cover flu shots, and we were going to have to pay $37.95 PER PERSON. Don't they know that I'm unemployed and don't have that kind of money right now? We were then informed that if we get the shot from our doctor, it would be free. I grabbed my insurance card, thanked the pharmacist, and we headed home. As soon as we got home I realized... we have a $35 co-pay for doctor's visits, so we were going to have to cough up the money either way. I'll go back to the pharmacy tomorrow.
The next morning I went bright and early to the pharmacy to get it done, and they had just run out of shots. UGH!! I called four other pharmacies and FINALLY found a Target that had the available. But there was a catch... the needles were smaller. Sounds great right? Nope... according the pharmacist, they're more painful.
I figured I'm three months away from pushing a human being out of my "hey nonny now now," so I may as well just get the shot and get it over with.
Wham, bam, thank you ma'am... I'm DONE! It hurt no more than a tattoo needle, and it's over with! I'm good for the year and baby Z is a little bit safer than we was before.
Oh, here's a picture of my bump! Twenty five weeks pregnant, and baby is the size of an eggplant! My poor shirt doesn't even cover my belly anymore.
One year later, my new OB/GYN confirmed my pregnancy and told me to go out and get a flu shot.
The flu epidemic started getting pretty bad, and my mother called me and told me to get my ass to the pharmacy and get a flu shot.
This past Friday my brand new ultrasound doctor placed her hand on my knee, looked me in the eye and said, "I really need you to get a flu shot."
The time had come.
Now, I haven't had a shot (the medicinal kind) since 1988, so the idea of getting a shot was less than appealing, but I have someone else to think about now, so it was time to suck it up and get it done. Meh... I've waited this long, I'll do it tomorrow.
Saturday we registered at Babies R Us (see previous post), and I didn't want to deal with getting a shot, so I decided to do it Sunday.
Sunday we went to CVS and proclaimed that we were both there for a shot. That's right, my husband saw how scared I was, and offered to get one too to make me feel better. However, we were informed that our insurance doesn't cover flu shots, and we were going to have to pay $37.95 PER PERSON. Don't they know that I'm unemployed and don't have that kind of money right now? We were then informed that if we get the shot from our doctor, it would be free. I grabbed my insurance card, thanked the pharmacist, and we headed home. As soon as we got home I realized... we have a $35 co-pay for doctor's visits, so we were going to have to cough up the money either way. I'll go back to the pharmacy tomorrow.
The next morning I went bright and early to the pharmacy to get it done, and they had just run out of shots. UGH!! I called four other pharmacies and FINALLY found a Target that had the available. But there was a catch... the needles were smaller. Sounds great right? Nope... according the pharmacist, they're more painful.
I figured I'm three months away from pushing a human being out of my "hey nonny now now," so I may as well just get the shot and get it over with.
Wham, bam, thank you ma'am... I'm DONE! It hurt no more than a tattoo needle, and it's over with! I'm good for the year and baby Z is a little bit safer than we was before.
Oh, here's a picture of my bump! Twenty five weeks pregnant, and baby is the size of an eggplant! My poor shirt doesn't even cover my belly anymore.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Registering
When it comes to babies... I feel like Prissy in Gone With The Wind.
"I don't know nothin' bout birthing babies!"
Then society gives me a great big slap across the face.
This past weekend we registered at Babies R Us, and it was probably the worst experience of our lives.
First, let me take you back in time to a couple weeks ago. We sat down and made a list of the essentials that we need; stroller, cat seat, pack and play, etc. From there, I spent HOURS between Consumer Reports online, and Amazon customer reviews researching which products were the safest, and highest rated with customers. We made a list of exactly what we wanted, and we felt we were pretty damn prepared for registering. We were so wrong.
We arrived at Babies R Us at 11:30am, got our scanner, and went to the very first isle... crib sheets. On my list of essentials, I was looking for crib sheets that had elastic all the way around the edges, and when held up to the light they weren't see through. All the sheets were sealed up in bags, so I was unable to check the elastic, or do the see through test. Then we realized we needed sheets for the pack and play and changing table pad as well. AND we needed waterproof mattress toppers for each, and liners. Whoa... this was overwhelming already. We scanned a few things then moved on.
The next isle was blankets. Receiving blankets, burp cloths, swaddling gear, and regular blankets. They all looked the same... what the hell is the difference between them?!?! Don't they all do the same thing? And why is one $9.95 and a pack of two also $9.95? Ugh... so confusing! We made a couple calls, scanned a few items, then moved on.
When we got to stroller isle I pulled out my list and proudly announced the safest and highly rated stroller that we're looking for. It wasn't there. Stunned, tired, and angry, we decided to come back to it later and go find the pack and play we wanted. It wasn't there either. We had been at the store for well over an hour now, and we were at a dead end. After countless phone calls and quick half assed research on my phone, we picked out a different pack and play and stroller, and moved on.
As we moved through the store we hit snags in the bottle isle, bathing isle, baby monitor isle, and breast pump isle, and finally we got fed up and decided to leave. On our way out I mentioned to an employee that we had a difficult time, and she suggested that we add stuff online. By the way... I forgot the mention that their website hasn't worked for two weeks, and when I told her that she said, "Oh yeah... we've been getting lots of complaints about that." We asked if they're working on fixing it and she said she knew nothing about it, and to come back if we wanted to add more stuff.
We were in the store for a grand total of two and half hours, so we treated ourselves to Five Guys burgers, and called it a day. The Babies R Us experience has scarred us for life, and I'm so glad I'll never have to do that again.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Positives
The other day my mom asked me, "Do you like being pregnant?" My immediate reaction was to say "NO," but the more I thought about it and all the complaints I've had, I realized it's not really as bad as I often think it is. So here's a list of all the pregnancy perks.
1.) FOOD. It's delicious, it's comforting, and when you're pregnant... it's often free. I've noticed that people love to feed a pregnant lady, and I rarely turn down food. You know when you go to a restaurant and you're splitting an appetizer and there's just ONE left on the plate? Yup... it all goes to the pregnant lady. After all, she's eating for two right? Waiters and waitresses bring extra food, neighbors stop by with baked goods, and at a buffet, everyone insists you go first. At first I tried to be modest about it and turn down all the offers, but I quickly got to the point where food seemed to be my fuel, and I welcomed it with open arms, and an open mouth.
2.) Maternity pants. I don't know why I haven't been wearing these my whole life. They're jeans, with a sweatpants waist on them! No more unbuttoning those jeans after a big meal, and with a growing belly, I can really let it all hang out. People used to say, "You're pregnant? You don't look pregnant." My response was always, "Just wait till after I eat."
3.) No alcohol. I'm not really a big drinker, so going to parties was often a big chore to avoid peer pressure. No matter how many times I would turn down drinks they would still find a way of showing up in front of me, and since people paid for them, it would be rude not to drink them, right? Then I end up with heartburn all night and the worry about when I'll be able to drive home. Now when I go to parties, people offer me more food instead of booze. It's a major win.
4.) No period. Enough said.
5.) Gifts for the baby. I've never been very good at receiving gifts. I get shy over the attention, and guilt that someone spent money on me, and I end up constantly thinking of ways to pay them back. Now all the gifts that come my way are for the baby, and I get so excited for him! He's not even born and people are loving him enough to buy him little outfits and make him blankets, and it warms my heart more than I ever thought possible. I want nothing but the best for him, and I'm so thankful for the generosity of my family, friends, and total strangers who are welcoming him into the world with so much love.
6.) Extra attention from the husband. He's been AMAZING. He goes with me to all my doctor appointments, he always makes sure I'm content, and he's willing to go downstairs and get me water in the middle of the night. If that's not love, then I don't know what is. He carries laundry for me, mows the lawn, goes on walks with me, and lends an ear when I'm getting emotional and scared about everything that's going to happen in the next three months. I'm so lucky to have him, and I know he's going to be an awesome dad.
7.) Overall Support. This whole experience has been overwhelming, exciting, and terrifying, but the support from family members, friends, and total strangers have really helped me more than I can say. When I was suffering with morning sickness, one of my dearest friends put together a care package for me with accupressure wrist bands, soothing tea, and candies to fight of morning sickness. It was a lifesaver. I had a LOT of depression, fear, and anxiety about being pregnant when month four rolled around, and finally I broke down and called my sister crying my eyes out. She talked me through all my fears and let me know that everything I was going through emotionally was normal, and after over an hour on the phone and a few calls throughout the day to check on me, I was ok again. It was a scary time, and she really helped me through it. At month five my doctor had concerns about my blood pressure, so my mother in law called me up and said she's going to walk with me every day to help get my blood pressure down, and get me exercising in prep for what may or may not be a difficult labor. I've been walking with her almost everyday now, and my blood pressure is back to normal, my energy level is up, and I'm no longer in the danger zone. Friends who I haven't talked to in years are meeting up with me and giving me tons of much needed advice, and they're suggesting Facebook groups and support groups to go to for answers and help. It's just nice to know I'm not alone in my fears, excitement, and pregnancy symptoms, and I'm SO thankful for all these wonderful people in my life.
8.) Moments of extreme euphoria. There are days when I'm so happy I feel like I'm going to start throwing up rainbows. On those days I pick projects to do around the house, and I get a LOT done. I pruned all my roses in one afternoon, I've made fabulous dinners, and I've cleaned every corner of every room. Who needs drugs when you've got hormones?
9.) Ability to fall asleep anywhere. I guess this can be a pro or con... depends on how you look at it. When I'm tired, I fall asleep FAST now, and even if I'm not tired, I'll sit down on the couch and open my eyes to discover that I fell asleep for two hours. I've never been more well rested in my life, which is probably why I wake up at 3am or 5am every morning and go back to sleep at 6am. Everyone tells me to cherish the sleep I'm getting now, and believe me, I do.
10.) Maternity pants. Just had to throw that in there again. Seriously... they're incredible.
1.) FOOD. It's delicious, it's comforting, and when you're pregnant... it's often free. I've noticed that people love to feed a pregnant lady, and I rarely turn down food. You know when you go to a restaurant and you're splitting an appetizer and there's just ONE left on the plate? Yup... it all goes to the pregnant lady. After all, she's eating for two right? Waiters and waitresses bring extra food, neighbors stop by with baked goods, and at a buffet, everyone insists you go first. At first I tried to be modest about it and turn down all the offers, but I quickly got to the point where food seemed to be my fuel, and I welcomed it with open arms, and an open mouth.
2.) Maternity pants. I don't know why I haven't been wearing these my whole life. They're jeans, with a sweatpants waist on them! No more unbuttoning those jeans after a big meal, and with a growing belly, I can really let it all hang out. People used to say, "You're pregnant? You don't look pregnant." My response was always, "Just wait till after I eat."
3.) No alcohol. I'm not really a big drinker, so going to parties was often a big chore to avoid peer pressure. No matter how many times I would turn down drinks they would still find a way of showing up in front of me, and since people paid for them, it would be rude not to drink them, right? Then I end up with heartburn all night and the worry about when I'll be able to drive home. Now when I go to parties, people offer me more food instead of booze. It's a major win.
4.) No period. Enough said.
5.) Gifts for the baby. I've never been very good at receiving gifts. I get shy over the attention, and guilt that someone spent money on me, and I end up constantly thinking of ways to pay them back. Now all the gifts that come my way are for the baby, and I get so excited for him! He's not even born and people are loving him enough to buy him little outfits and make him blankets, and it warms my heart more than I ever thought possible. I want nothing but the best for him, and I'm so thankful for the generosity of my family, friends, and total strangers who are welcoming him into the world with so much love.
6.) Extra attention from the husband. He's been AMAZING. He goes with me to all my doctor appointments, he always makes sure I'm content, and he's willing to go downstairs and get me water in the middle of the night. If that's not love, then I don't know what is. He carries laundry for me, mows the lawn, goes on walks with me, and lends an ear when I'm getting emotional and scared about everything that's going to happen in the next three months. I'm so lucky to have him, and I know he's going to be an awesome dad.
7.) Overall Support. This whole experience has been overwhelming, exciting, and terrifying, but the support from family members, friends, and total strangers have really helped me more than I can say. When I was suffering with morning sickness, one of my dearest friends put together a care package for me with accupressure wrist bands, soothing tea, and candies to fight of morning sickness. It was a lifesaver. I had a LOT of depression, fear, and anxiety about being pregnant when month four rolled around, and finally I broke down and called my sister crying my eyes out. She talked me through all my fears and let me know that everything I was going through emotionally was normal, and after over an hour on the phone and a few calls throughout the day to check on me, I was ok again. It was a scary time, and she really helped me through it. At month five my doctor had concerns about my blood pressure, so my mother in law called me up and said she's going to walk with me every day to help get my blood pressure down, and get me exercising in prep for what may or may not be a difficult labor. I've been walking with her almost everyday now, and my blood pressure is back to normal, my energy level is up, and I'm no longer in the danger zone. Friends who I haven't talked to in years are meeting up with me and giving me tons of much needed advice, and they're suggesting Facebook groups and support groups to go to for answers and help. It's just nice to know I'm not alone in my fears, excitement, and pregnancy symptoms, and I'm SO thankful for all these wonderful people in my life.
8.) Moments of extreme euphoria. There are days when I'm so happy I feel like I'm going to start throwing up rainbows. On those days I pick projects to do around the house, and I get a LOT done. I pruned all my roses in one afternoon, I've made fabulous dinners, and I've cleaned every corner of every room. Who needs drugs when you've got hormones?
9.) Ability to fall asleep anywhere. I guess this can be a pro or con... depends on how you look at it. When I'm tired, I fall asleep FAST now, and even if I'm not tired, I'll sit down on the couch and open my eyes to discover that I fell asleep for two hours. I've never been more well rested in my life, which is probably why I wake up at 3am or 5am every morning and go back to sleep at 6am. Everyone tells me to cherish the sleep I'm getting now, and believe me, I do.
10.) Maternity pants. Just had to throw that in there again. Seriously... they're incredible.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Painting
I always dreamed of painting fun murals on my kids walls someday, and now that I spend a lot of time at home, I finally had the time to get started. A very talented friend of mine came over one night, and we got started on painting some fun murals on Z's wall.
I fired up the tracing machine and we got Buzz Lightyear battling Emperor Zurg sketched out on the wall near his bookcase. My friend spent hours painting and fine tuning him, and this is the result! He looks SPECTACULAR!!
I got started on Emperor Zurg, after a few quick glances at my friend's incredible work, I decided to let her finish him, and I moved on to another wall.
I originally wanted the whole theme of the bedroom to be cowboys, and although we strayed a little bit with Buzz and Zurg, I knew I wanted something extra special above his crib. I found the PERFECT image in an old coloring book, and with help from the tracing machine, got it up on the wall.
Whenever I had the time or patience I would get to work and do little bits at a time. Standing for long periods of time was taking it's toll on my back, so work was very slow.
By New Years, Jesse and Woody were ironically starting to look like Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper, and all I wanted was to get this thing done.
Weeks later, I pulled a very late night and finally got it done! I had considered doing fun paintings like this all around his room, but I think I'm done. That is... unless I can convince my friend (who lives a lifetime away and is planning a wedding and moving) to do a couple more. Seriously... she's amazing and could make a fortune doing this professionally.
I'm so proud of this! I hope he doesn't grow up hating Toy Story...
Adjusting
Not only has unemployment taken some time to get used to, but so has creating a human being. My back hurts all day, I'm not as limber as I used to be, and my body is constantly changing.
We bought a very tall bed earlier in the year, and I had to put a stool beside it so I can literally climb into bed each night. My nightstand consists of Tums (for my now constant acid reflux), Kleenex (for my always runny nose), Prenatal Vitamins, and a brand new lamp for when nature calls three times a night. I'm not supposed to sleep on my back anymore, so I've become a side sleeper which is also difficult, not that any of that matters because I seem to be up all night anyway.
I can't bend over anymore to pick things up off the ground, if I get in my car and leave the car door open too far, I have to get back out to reach it because leaning out isn't possible anymore. It's hard to get up off the ground if I decide to sit there, and even getting off the couch is starting to be difficult. The husband has to carry the laundry up and down the stairs for me now because when I do it, I can feel all my stomach muscles pulling, and it's pretty painful.
I've lost all feeling in my fingers, and it only gets worse when my hands swell up to an enormous size after walking or eating. Food still tastes amazing, but everything gives me acid reflux so I don't look forward to meals as much as I used to.
I've got three months to go, and I'm only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable. How did Mrs. Duggar do this NINETEEN TIMES? I think I'm starting to figure it out...
A few nights ago my husband and I were laying in bed watching TV, and as usual I could feel baby Z wiggling around in my stomach. I looked down and saw him poking out of my skin! I jumped in surprise and screamed, and for the next twenty minutes we sat there staring at my stomach watching it move and shift until finally the baby fell asleep. As creepy as it was, it was still pretty amazing to see, and I can't wait to hold my little guy in my arms and cover him with kisses.
We bought a very tall bed earlier in the year, and I had to put a stool beside it so I can literally climb into bed each night. My nightstand consists of Tums (for my now constant acid reflux), Kleenex (for my always runny nose), Prenatal Vitamins, and a brand new lamp for when nature calls three times a night. I'm not supposed to sleep on my back anymore, so I've become a side sleeper which is also difficult, not that any of that matters because I seem to be up all night anyway.
I can't bend over anymore to pick things up off the ground, if I get in my car and leave the car door open too far, I have to get back out to reach it because leaning out isn't possible anymore. It's hard to get up off the ground if I decide to sit there, and even getting off the couch is starting to be difficult. The husband has to carry the laundry up and down the stairs for me now because when I do it, I can feel all my stomach muscles pulling, and it's pretty painful.
I've lost all feeling in my fingers, and it only gets worse when my hands swell up to an enormous size after walking or eating. Food still tastes amazing, but everything gives me acid reflux so I don't look forward to meals as much as I used to.
I've got three months to go, and I'm only going to get bigger and more uncomfortable. How did Mrs. Duggar do this NINETEEN TIMES? I think I'm starting to figure it out...
A few nights ago my husband and I were laying in bed watching TV, and as usual I could feel baby Z wiggling around in my stomach. I looked down and saw him poking out of my skin! I jumped in surprise and screamed, and for the next twenty minutes we sat there staring at my stomach watching it move and shift until finally the baby fell asleep. As creepy as it was, it was still pretty amazing to see, and I can't wait to hold my little guy in my arms and cover him with kisses.
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